Challenging the Stigma Around Therapy: Why are we so Hesitant to ask for Help?

By Sabine Bos

Edited by Viola Spada

Have you ever thought about seeing a therapist or your school counsellor to address concerns about your mental health, but never followed through because of what others may think? Or has the thought of starting therapy never crossed your mind because ‘it's only for those with serious mental health issues; or because your friends and family provide the similar support so ‘what’s the point’? 

What is Therapy Stigma?

As a result of society’s stigmatised outlook on therapy, it is not usually a person’s first resort in times of need. The Mayo Clinic defines stigma as the negative perception of a group or individual based on “a distinguishing characteristic or personal trait that's thought to be, or actually is, a disadvantage (a negative stereotype).” It often induces discrimination, which can be obvious and direct or subtle and unintentional, leading people to judge or doubt themselves. 

Mental health stigma fosters shame, hopelessness, and isolation in experiencing a lack of understanding from others, fewer opportunities, bullying, low self-esteem, and a reluctance to ask for help. Ultimately, therapy stigma stems from the stigma surrounding mental health (Mayo Clinic).  

This dismissive attitude towards therapy deters some from gaining its benefits due to false beliefs, such as the notion that therapy is only for those with severe mental health challenges. In reality, therapy offers a range of treatments catered to the diverse needs of individuals, groups, and families. Especially in today’s society, everyone could use it from managing the stress we have to deal with daily and grief to enhancing personal growth and understanding (GoodTherapy.org). However, this is not the only misconception.

Many believe therapy indicates weakness or that those who seek it are overly dependent or suffer from a lack of self-discipline. Ironically, seeking therapy requires significant strength - it’s difficult to recognise a need, confront personal challenges, and proactively strive for change. Everyone needs guidance and external support; there is no shame in getting help. 

In a way, therapy is just like getting a tutor for maths or a personal coach in football. Some also underestimate its impact on one’s wellbeing, as well as the complexity of their wellbeing in the first place. A common misbelief is that one can simply “snap out” of their troubling emotions, but improving your  mental health is not about willpower or merely deciding to feel better as it is much more about dealing with our problems in a healthy and effective way, for which a therapist is the best help we can get. Moreover, therapy is not “just talking” - it goes far beyond the casual discussions you might have with your friends and family (Brenner). 

Is There a Stigma Around Therapy in ISA’s Community?

This stigma also transcends into our community. Have you ever recognised your reluctance to talk with your counselor? Have you ever questioned if there’s a stigma around seeking mental health counseling? 

I interviewed several upper school students about their perspective on therapy, as well as the views they’re exposed to from others. I began by asking if they had ever considered starting therapy but never followed through with this decision, and if so, what made them decide against seeking a therapist’s support? 

One student shared: “There have been various occasions where I thought of perhaps starting therapy; however, I was always held back by the embarrassment of doing so.” They attribute this reluctance to the fact that “therapy can often have a negative idea surrounding it. For instance many believe people who do therapy are weird.” Another student who also considered seeing a therapist “ended up not going because [they] prefer being able to deal with [their] emotions by [themself].” 

I followed up by asking if they notice a stigma around therapy in their family or among the people they spend most of their time with. One student recognises a negative attitude toward therapy from their parents, explaining that they “don’t fully understand the meaning of therapy.” 

On the other hand, another student shared that many of their family members go to therapy and “see it as a positive thing that can help one cope with their issues.” However, they still feel influenced by the stigma from those they’re close to who “see therapy as something more urgent, as in you should only do it if there’s no better solution.”

If you've been struggling with your mental health but feel hesitant to seek support from a therapist or counsellor, remember that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. 

Everyone needs guidance, just like everyone can benefit from therapy - not only those in crisis. By challenging these misconceptions through creating an environment that normalises conversations about mental health, we can make therapy a more accepted and accessible option for everyone.